2012 is the year I vow to be Selfish

Though I write this with a sore core from yesterday's yoga, I feel so completely and utterly hopeful and good about the new year.  There's so much I want to accomplish this year and so much I want to discover - I just can't wait to get to it and bring you along with me on my journey!

Things I did in 2011, conversations I had, people I met, and books I read all made me realize a lot about myself, my surroundings, how I think, and how I live my life. Alas, so much happened to me and around me in the last year that the end of 2011 made me want to better myself in 2012.

Therefore, I've made a goal list for the coming year, and I'm sharing it with you - even though #1 totally goes against it. (see if it were a resolution, I'd have failed.) These goals are in no particular order but in which I thought them up.

1. Be Selfish - in art. in work. in friend/relationships.
2. Be Happy - stop worrying and being afraid and accept happiness and love in my life.
2. Stop thinking yoga is gay and just do it!
3. Find inner peace.  by way of meditating or yoga or writing.  Can it really be found?
4. Become a better poet.
5. Perform!  Poetry, acting, singing, dancing, anything! just ham it up!
6. STOP SMOKING! - unless I am in Paris and i'm being offered a Gauloises brand cigarette
7. Make enough money to rent/buy a home with a yard for Sailor.
8. Get out of debt.  It's stupid and it sucks.
9. Learn to play the ukelele - for reals this time.
10. Be limber - ugh yoga.
11. Do the splits - I've never been able to and THIS is the year my "Fanny"will touch the ground, damnit.
12. Write my dreams down daily
13. Write my morning pages daily
14. Be good.
15. Update the blog - figure out it's purpose and perfect it.
16. Find awesome artists to collaborate and make awesome art with.
17. Host a salon with music and poetry and conversation a la Left Bank!
18. Execute the self portrait series idea
19. Record my poetry
19. Take a voice lesson so number 18 doesn't suck.
20. Book a commercial/acting job or three.

and Finally,
Find a man who might want to dance to a country song with me.

This list, I know will have more additions, but it's a pretty good start for now.  I've bought brand new notebooks, a few new dresses, a yoga mat, and started my heart calming exercises given to me by my my feng shui-ist Anjie Cho.  I'm ready world.  Are you ready for a better me?

Tell me your goals for 2012.  I want to know.

Happy New Year 2012

It's New Year's Day.  I didn't wake up hungover like every other New Year's Day.  I didn't wake up with some stranger in my bed (thank god), or better yet, in a stranger's bed halfway across town (thank my God AND your God).   I spent the last day of 2011 enjoying my beautiful and ever so charmed life and my loving, sarcastic, laughing family.

I woke up early and took an Ashtanga Yoga class at San Antonio Yoga.

Seriously, I did a headstand in this place! 

A beautiful and serene yoga studio built between two shady trees off the main road in the country town of Helotes, TX.  It was a very hard class.  I don't normally take Yoga classes, let alone Ashtanga, but I really wanted to end the year off feeling good.  As much as I hated it, I loved it and it made me feel alive.

The rest of the day was spent running errands, buying brand new red underwear (new year's eve tradition), preparing food with my Mom for the evening, and enjoying the beautiful last sunset of 2011.

No matter how many times I've seen a sunset, or what town in the world I'm in when I see one, it still takes my breath away.  The colors the sky turns is absolutely unreal!

Like I stated above, the turn of the year was spent with my family.  I didn't have champagne at midnight but, I wore a fancy dress, took funny face photos with my cousins, watched (and escaped faulty) frontyard fireworks, and danced to Shakira in the living room until 2 in the morning.  A great way to ring in the new year.

me and my cousin Jeniffer - and you thought i was a camera whore...

Happy New Year everyone!

xo,
m

My thoughts on the death of Steve Jobs (1955 - 2011)

They say our heros should be our parents, our teachers, people who make a difference in this world that we can look up to.  What's so great, is that we live in a time where there are so many people doing so many great things and we have so many choices on who to call a hero.

I'm a die hard Apple products user.  I have friends who are die hards too.  (I even once dated a guy who put Apple stickers on his black Dell tower so that people would think he was using a MAC...whole other story there...) That is why I gasped aloud in disbelieve when I heard of Steve Jobs' death on NPR yesterday.  The world had lost one of the people who had carved a niche in our world and made it inspiring.

It's astonishing what someone's death makes you remember about your own life.  

My first computer was a MAC - I typed out so many stories and even learned to use the internet and had my first social media interactions, chatting away in NME chat rooms, on that thing.

I bought my G4 tower that came to my home in a huge heavy box and I edited my first videos on it in my room in Atwater Village.  I even dragged that thing all the way to NYC and edited my first shows on it.

I bought my first iPod at the SoHo Apple Store with Liz Clark (who already had an iPod) before leaving on our trip to England in 2004. We played a "guess the next song" game we made up on the plane there.
I gave my sister her first iPod for Christmas a few years ago and loaded it up with the High School Musical soundtrack, among other Disney songs.
The last iPod I owned was stolen from me in Mexico by my cousin, which I later found out was traded for a baby bunny rabbit... story for another time.

And my iPhone that I can't live without? I bought that after a friend sat me in a bar and went over every reason why I needed it and how much easier my life was going to be if I just gave up my Android and switched to the iPhone...
I don't have an iPad yet.  I actually remember that everyday.

 

Oh, and those goddamn "think different" posters and commercials? Those ads made me want to be a better person.  Someone who changes the world too.  (I know, I know, marketing...)

Take a look at these photos from LIFE showing how the world mourned the death of Steve Jobs.  It made me happy that people all over the world mourned a person who was not an actor or singer dying too young or of an overdose.  They mourned a man who thought differently.  I was touched.   

Here's one of those "Think Different" posters depicting my hero....

Thank you Mr. Jobs for being an incredible innovator in them blue jeans and black turtleneck.  I loved your giddiness when you introduced a new product to the world.  I love using all your products!  

Signing off from my MacBook2,1 that I bought myself for Christmas in 2006.  The stories it has and has yet to tell......

So L.A. Tales

Cristina in front of Angelyne's Pink Corvette

We waited for the pink lady herself to exit Wacko before we approached her for a photo request.  She led us to the trunk of her famed sports car and opened it to reveal 3 stacks of neatly folded t-shirts.  In a whisper soft voice, one of L.A.'s true novelties asked us to buy a $20 t-shirt before she would have her picture taken with us.  How L.A. of her....

Happy Christmas!

Have you been good this year?

Carmen Schmid Photography

Carmen Schmid is a photographer from Canada.  I was introduced to her through our mutual friend Rick of Royale Projects while she was in town last month working on her book.  She asked if she could take my picture.  How could I say no? I love getting my photo taken!

In exchange, I introduced to her a few other faces she could photograph (and even held the reflector on one of the shoots.)

For our shoot, we went to Union Station on Thanksgiving weekend. Probably not the best time to go if you hope to have an empty backdrop.  Luckily we did not have to bribe anyone to move while we set up, and we had a lovely family watching our shoot who gave me direction while Carmen clicked her camera.  The result: 

The following photographs are a part of her David Lynch series:

Don't Carmen's photos feel like they're movie stills?

Check out Carmen's website as well as her blog.  You can also follow her on Twitter.  

An MB Show Tribute to John Lennon

I will admit, when I was younger, I was a Paul fan.  (I bet a lot of us were.)  It wasn't until I was a teenager that I really started to understand John Lennon.  Sure I still love Paul, don't get me wrong, just as much as I love Ringo and George.  But John, god damn, it's more cerebral with him you know?

Five years ago today, Liz Clark, her cousin Holly, and I took the A train to W. 72nd Street to pay our respects on the 25th anniversary of John Lennon's death.  It was a big anniversary and a huge crowd was expected.  Even though December 8th, 2005 was a frigid cold night, we were going to bundle up and brave it to sing some John songs in Central Park.

We started our night at a bar drinking whiskey to warm our insides before making our way to the Dakota.  When we stepped off the subway, people either going to or leaving the station were singing John Lennon or John sung Beatles songs.  When we hit the street, it was filled with people.  There were candles surrounding the Dakota, people with hands in prayer pose singing Imagine and Give Peace a Chance softly.  This was a quiet, beautiful vigil for a man whose music and message so many people believed in.

  

When we crossed Central Park West, there was a line to enter Strawberry Fields.  People held vigil candles and posters with predominate song lyrics that were fitting for the night:

"I am he

as you are he

as you are me 

and we are all

together"

Guitars were strumming and everyone was singing Beatles songs from A Hard Day's Night to Come Together.  At one point in the night, one of the guitarists started singing Helter Skelter and everyone shouted, HEY THAT'S A PAUL SONG!  The crowd then laughed and started again on a John song; getting the evening back on track.  Liz, Holly, and I were singing loud and watching everyone come together for one reason.  To pay tribute to a man who changed the world with his words.  It wasn't a cause related event, nor was it a political event.  It was just something to do because you were a fan, and because you loved music, and because you wanted to create a memory.  It was a New York thing to do.

I will never forget that night:

The bitter cold.  

Being with friends.  

Being in New York.  

In John Lennon's favorite place.  

In my favorite place.

I remember on my very first trip to New York City, when I was 20 years old, I visited Strawberry Fields. I spent half the day writing in my journal, taking in the quiet, and watching people come and go.  I was moved by the fact that people cared so much about one man to leave flowers on the Imagine Circle. 

Years later, when I moved and made New York City my home, I came to the realization that you can bust out in song anywhere in Manhattan and have not one single person look at you oddly.  (I am guilty of this for sure.) 

BUT if you visit Strawberry Fileds in Central Park and you want to belt out a song. Well, it's the only place where that song HAS GOT TO BE.....A John song.

(photo by Bob Gruen)

9, October 1940 – 8, December 1980

"My role in society, or any artist’s or poet’s role, is to try and express what we all feel. Not to tell people how to feel. Not as a preacher, not as a leader, but as a reflection of us all." 

- John Lennon

on her yearly trip to the ER

she was quite unhappy to be missing out on the evening's social activities.

 but she made the best of it, as she always does,

and admired the bracelet she was given that matched her gown.

she contemplated whether blue gloves would complete the ensemble.

after all, she wanted to look her absolute best for her date with the doctor

As she silently cursed the reason that led her to this establishment, 

she overheard a quiet row happening less than a few feet away.

A man in the gurney next to hers was also waiting on the doctor, HER doctor, because a knife slipped and cut his hand while he washed dishes.  His wife asked how he felt before firmly inquiring about a charge on the family credit card that was questionable.  A mysterious online purchase that, as a listener, I deemed a naughty one.  

The wife pressed and pressed the husband for a confession. 

He denied knowing anything about it.  

With ears pressed to the curtain separating my adjustable bed from his, I could hear him swear that this time, THIS time, the charge wasn't his. 

One can only conclude that the wife cut him purposely.  

Ah Thanksgiving!

Photo by MurderWithMirrors

Growing up, we always spent Thanksgiving at my Granma's house in San Diego.  The whole family would drive down and we'd have a day at the beach skim boarding and playing Frisbee, while Granma cooked the turkey and made cranberry sauce from scratch.  We'd all come back to the house just in time to wash up for dinner.  Someone was always chosen to say grace before we went around the table, one by one, saying what we were thankful for.   (I was always nervous having to do this since I was never good at vocalizing my appreciations even though I had them.) - but we had to do it in order to eat!  And eat we did!  My Granma, hands down, is the best cook in all the world and I lovingly blame her for plumping me up as a child.  My dad would bring fancy wine for the adults and Martinelli's Sparkling Cider for the kids.  I always thought Martinelli's was only available during the holidays therefore I especially looked forward to it.  (My cousin Janelle and I would always finish the bottle and were always left wanting more.)  Aside from the smell of the turkey and the warm cranberry sauce, what I remember most about those Thanksgiving dinners was the laughter of each and every one of my family members.  The TV was never allowed to be on during dinner so everyone's attention was at the table and each other.   After dinner, we'd tease each other and play card games like Uno or Crazy Eights.  My dad would always cheat, and my Aunt Sue would always get mad at him.  Then the family that was laughing earlier in the evening would be arguing by the end of it.  Ah families.  Every year it would be the same thing.  

Today is the first time I actually thought about my childhood Thanksgivings.   More importantly, I realized that my family, being immigrants, didn't have to adopt this American tradition into their own, but they did.  (I’ll have to ask Granma why.)  

 

I recently spoke about Thanksgiving with a Canadian friend who didn't quite understand why it is so important in the States.  I didn’t know exactly how to answer so I mumbled something about the pilgrims and the Indians.  But really, I wanted to say, it’s important because that’s when you get to see your family.  At least that’s why it’s important to me.   Family and tradition - without them we wouldn’t be who we are.  Whatever that family is made up of and whatever tradition your family has.

As a kid, Thanksgiving was always about Granma's house.  When I moved to New York, it was about spending it with my friends who were also ‘orphaned’, or couldn’t make it home to see their families.  This year, I’m in Los Angeles and ‘orphaned’ again, but will be spending it with the family of a good friend.  Families, whatever they are made up of, are all the same.  They are all filled with love and crazy, aren’t they?  If they weren't as such, life would be completely boring!  That is why being with them is so important.  This is why Thanksgiving is so important.

Wishing you all a very happy Thanksgiving.

Lady Dates

Ever have the feeling of being completely drained of all creativity and have no idea how to go on as a creative being?  Have you gotten so close to the point of hating everyone else's art out of jealousy because you can't get the juices flowing to create your own?  Have you considered going back to a *gulp* desk job because being a starving artist just isn't like it is in the movies (or in 1920's Paris)?

Well, I've been totally feeling that way the last few months, and it's time to put an end to my creative mourning.  And if you've been feeling this way, you can too.  How you ask? By going on a 'Lady Date' of course!  (Boy Dates are for other things, Lady Dates are for idea sharing, creating, and possible collaborating.)

First, Pick a Date!  Call up a favorite Gal pal (or a Gal you've recently met who's work you admire.)  My Lady Date was with "illustrator, idea executor, and love incubator" Aurora Lady of Trois Mois.

Second, Pick a location!  This can be your favorite cafe, restaurant, or bar.  Don't go to a museum or a movie, this is strictly for your creativity sharing and you need to have one another's complete attention.  (You can embrace other people's art once you get yours back on track.)  I am most inspired when in an old-timey or French setting, so I chose Figaro Bistro in Los Feliz as our meeting place.

 

Third, Dress up! This is a date after all! Wear a dress that makes you feel pretty, or wear that piece of jewelry that makes you feel fancy.  When you feel good, you feel confident, and creativity exudes!  I feel most fancy and confident when I wear red lipstick!

Fourth, Be Decadent! Order a glass of champagne with your hamburger, or whatever delicacy your meeting place offers.  I ordered a Dirty Martini with my Escargot.  Figaro has a wonderful Happy Hour from 5-7pm making decadence affordable.

 

Five, Talk what you see!  Mention things that inspire you at your setting.  The purple velvet on the chairs, or the smell of sulfur from the candle you accidentally blew out.  Tell your date how the lemon zest in your drink reminds you of your favorite dress when you were eight years old.

Six, Talk out your goals!  Tell your date your ideas and goals.  If you don't have any on deck, start with what you love and build up from there.  Your date will surely encourage any of your ideas as you will hers.  By saying things aloud, you are accountable to yourself and to your Lady.

Seven, Write it down!  Lay your ideas down on wax!  By writing down your ideas, you won't forget to follow up on yourself or your Lady.  Also, where you store your ideas is key to your personality and creativity.  Aurora adores her Filofax, whilst I cherish my Moleskine! 

Eight, Plan your next date!  By now, you've got ideas to talk about and actions to be executed.  Continue the inspiration and make sure you establish that you two will be meeting again.  Set a date, a place, and a time. This will give you a deadline to complete your ideas as well as fuel for your next meeting.

Nine and Ten, Have Fun and Repeat! Don't forget to laugh and enjoy yourself, and repeat the above as many times as you'd like! The more Lady Dates you go on, the more inspired you will become, the more you will create, and the bigger your community will grow!

The above Lady Date brought about many ideas for both Aurora and myself.  We've even got a great big project we're working on for the new year!  This blog post has been our first collaboration, and we hope you too are inspired to collaborate and create.  

We'd love to know about your Lady Dates too!