a free beer is not worth a belched on face

I decided to meet Ian at the Subway Inn bar yesterday before heading to the Yankee game. I was early and had to make nice with some creeeeeeeepy dudes against my will. let me play out what happened prior to his arrival...

INT. Dark ass bar on 60th and Lex.

mb (our yankee shirt wearing heroine) walks into bar and heads straight to bathroom at end of bar. after finding it too disgusting to even wash her hands, she walks walks back to front of the bar from bathroom and passes jukebox where Fat Blond Man is standing

FBM
Yankee's suck

mb keeps walking

FBM
Yankee's really suck

mb
(turning around to face FBM)
Dude, say all you want, you're not going to get a rise out of me.

mb finds open space next to a Bolivian Guido (who's eating a cheeseburger as if it were his last meal) and orders a bud light. the Bartender brings back a regular bud and BG tells him that it's on him.

mb
thanks.

BG
i akl;ai djf;io;aknv;ldk

mb
excuse me

BG
i youthto b boxa

mb
that's great!

BG is drunk. it's 6:15 and mb cannot understand a word he says. worse yet, he keeps grabbing her arm and burping cheeseburger in her face.

Meanwhile FBM comes to the bar and apologized for earlier Yankees suck comments. and starts to question mb as to where she's from. mb lies and says she's from Texas, and is pulled again by BG who HAS to tell her over and over that he is a boxer while pushing in his nose with his greasy hands.

mb stands in the middle of these to disgusting men who are trying to talk at her and apologize to her while both insisting on buying her another beer.
mb just smiles and keeps looking over her shoulder saying little prayers under her breath for Ian to show up immediately.

FBM continues to insist on buying mb another beer and having her sit in the empty seat next to him. all to which she thankfully declines about 4 more times before he actually stops.

BG keeps telling mb that he was a boxer and used to protect his countries president and that he hates to speak english.

mb is getting irritated but and is surprised at how she has managed to keep her cool. She turns one last time to find that her prayers have been answered and Ian walking through the door. Hallelujah!

Ian and mb exit the subway inn quickly, but not before BG releases one more burp in mb's face. thanks.

FIN

The moral of this story is to NEVER EVER EVER in your whole life go to the Subway Inn. Never i tell you. Ever!

Only Ryan Adams and Baseball can save me now!

To be completely honest, i am struggling with crippling anxiety. the reasons are much different than i though they were a few episodes ago. Firstly and mainly, i may be in love. or mistakenly in love. or rather, in love with a (mis)taken boy. or worse yet, mistaken about a boy i am mistakenly in love with. oh jeez! where's my paper bag?!

Anyway, last night i had the WORST dreams i think i've ever dreamed in my entire life! Worse than the futuristic war and bomb terminator dreams i occasionally have in which i am quite the badass! i don't want to go into the bad dreams, just imagine the most horrible things that can happen to you and, well, i dreamt it. SUCKS! Now i'm at work and counting down the minutes, with every deep breath in my sinking chest, to 6pm.

Oh 6pm. When you come i know things will be okay, because at that time i'll be in my Yankee tee and favourite jeans and heading to the subway inn for a meet up with a boy i barely know to take the train with to Yankee Stadium and sit in box seats i spent way too much money on. But once i get there, once i arrive, things will be all right under the bright lights. with an over-priced beer and yankee dog (which don't compare to dodger dogs in the slightest) on my lap. oh 6pm please come!!

Back to my anxiety...I forgot my xanax at home. i have what is called situational anxiety, and today i am not prepared. so, instead, i am listening to Ryan Adams records on repeat because they are the ONLY songs that actually make me feel better! Thanks Ryan, and thanks in advance to the Yankees.

brrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaatttttttttttthhhhhhhhhhhhe.

I <3 Bill Clinton!

i want to blog so badly right now but i cannot take myself away from the television long enough to create and expressive exquisite sentence that will make you all scream for more! more! MORE!!
oh Bill, how i miss you. even though you are a womanizing playboy, you still have me on your side.
WHAT is up with Hillary's pantsuits of yesterday and today. they look like something from the Sag Harbor catalog of 1996.
Seriously, Bill could be reading the words and meanings in the letter Q in the
Encyclopedia and i would still listen.
No crying during this speech. there was a slight false alarm when the entire
convention started to chant YES WE CAN! But that was soon over.
i wonder what else is on....

and One Up!

Back on the "One Down" episode, i mentioned not getting one of the two auditions i went on that Friday. Well, i am happy to say that i booked the other audition! YAY for me.
I'll be playing Clover, the feisty secretary, in a thesis film for the Art Institute of NY. We shoot in two weeks and have an 'in class' rehearsal on Thursday. I'm totally excited about this, as i have not booked anything in quite sometime.
Hopefully, more bookings are in my future... i still need to get on Law & Order dammit!

Thanks Hillary for making me cry....again!

did you watch the DNC coverage tonight? i did with my friend Mr. Hanky. it was like a goddamn hallmark commercial. remember the second video with the photo montage of all the 'children of our future'? did you notice that all the kids were white? not ONE child of color! hmm we see the future mrs. clinton would like us to have.... actually i have no clue as to what i'm talking about, but i really did like her speech.
she made me cry. i do hate when that happens! i also think i maybe the only person who like Michelle Obama (don't tell my mom). i think she's cool. i wouldn't want to
mess with her though. looks like she could kick some ass.

Today i baked a cake to win over friends

Having a full time job blows sometimes. Especially when all your mind can really think of is redesigning your bedroom or what topics you should discuss on the next show or hmm, how long has it really been since i last went to the Met? Well in any case, today i miss Remmie so much! i've done a wonderful job of neglecting her. (Remmie is my typewriter - you can see her on Ep. 1 over in the Re-Runs section). With anxiety nudging my insides, i really want the sound of her click clack click under my fingers to turn that old anxiety into perfect prose. ah but today is a work day. and it's a work hour and all my dreams of creative expression can be thrown into the shredder under my desk and spit out into millions of paper spaghetti strings and dump itself right into the wastebasket of my soul.

as for the above mentioned anxiety, there are only two reasons for it. 1) i'm extremely nervous about something (a confrontation or feeling of inadequacy), and 2) it's a premonition of a good thing to come. though i hope and hope that it's the latter, it usually ends up being the former. today i'm putting all my money #2. (even though my gambling skills are better left on vegas casino tables.)

boss is back. Better get back to my sorting and filing and label creating and phone answering and people avoiding and blah -dy blah- dy blah.

One Down

last night i had a 2 hour audition followed by a meeting with a director for a different project. i think i did pretty well on the audition and would be quite surprised if i did not get the part. as for the meeting, i think it went rather well too. The director came to meet me at a restaurant in midtown. my best friend is in town this weekend and we were just finishing dinner when he arrived. we all conversed for over an hour about cinema, politics, LA, NY, etc. it reminded me of the old LA days meeting at restaurants and just talking projects. i miss that. i don't do much of that in NYC. i'm going to have to change that. anyway. i found out today i didn't get the second project. i was sad when i heard the message. i thought for sure i'd get it after the time we spent talking. but of course, i was not what he had in mind for the part. hmm. oh well. though it did bum me out quite a bit.

soooooooo. i put on the movie Wanted and watched angelina jolie kick ass and make me feel a WHOLE lot better. or maybe it's the cuba libre i'm drinking.....

WHY network formerly known as the WB?!!

I was rather intrigued (and a bit sick) watching the making of 'slatur' on Bizarre Foods, but thanks much to my channel changing Tourette's, I clicked away just before I vomited in my mouth when the host bit into the finished pudding. GROSS!
And that is how I stumbled into the madness of Gossip Girl. Now i need to find out how to watch past episodes. Is it on DVD? Why can't everything be on On Demand? okay, I have one month to fully catch up on Gossip Girl before the next season. I need to find out who Serena killed!!! i know you all know. i am behind on the times as per usual...

The setting is bright, the mood content.

Franny and Zooey is extremely over-rated. my apt. is a mess. bought 2 more books that i won't get to this year, and still can't finish the other 3 and 1 play i started. words are making me bored. i slept well last night. (except for the coughing fit at 5am) had dreams of a parting alaska. the snow melts to reveal a city beautiful. took a creative sick day from work. voice is on holiday. pulled out the old poems. i awoke to rain. i will sleep to the sun.

Reading Tonight

I'm reading my short story "The Comedian" tonight at Farenheit at Black & White in the East Village. 9-11pm. Come out!

The Tramp Does not SPEAK!

Charlie Chaplin's The Gold Rush is one of the greatest silent movies ever made. This is cinematic fact! Apparently, TCM does not think so, because they have decided to air the 1942 narrated version in lieu of the 1925 classic on television today. On Chaplin day!!! I'm sorry WHAT? No, your eyes do not deceive, you read correctly. Although, my ears are bleeding listening to the 'story' of the "The Gold Rush" being read while watching it. Far away, in a cemetery in Vevey, Charles Chaplin is turning over in his grave.